We are all used to keeping score. We keep score when we play sports. We keep score when we play card or board games. If we did not keep score, it would be impossible to know the outcome of the game. While a kindergarten basketball team might not keep score, how many of us would attend a high school or college game where they didn’t keep score? Who is sitting down on New Year’s Eve to play a card game where there is no winner? Many of us are competitive by nature and want come out on top.

Keeping score in relationships, however, is dangerous and potentially harmful. For example, what if I decide that I will no longer call my friend to see how she is doing? I have initiated the conversation the past 3 times and it’s her turn to check in on me. This scorekeeping does not take into account what my friend has going on in her life and is an intentional attempt to make things “fair”. Relationships are not tally sheets of how many times each person has done something good for the other, minus any instances of unkindness, multiplied by the age of the relationship, to the power of 2.    

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NIV)

Paul tells us that love does not keep track of wrongs. It does not hold a people’s shortcomings against them but rather loves them as if those shortcomings don’t exist. I am so glad that God, who shows us the ultimate love, does not keep score. None of us could ever do enough good to deserve the love, grace, and mercy that God bestows on us daily. So, save the scorekeeping for next week’s round of UNO. Your loved ones don’t require a scorecard, just your love.